Sweet friend, if you have purchased a 'Remembering You' journal, then I just want to tell you how sorry I am for your tragic loss and I hope and pray that this journal is a safe place for your to write your thoughts & prayers as well as cherish any memories you made with your dear little one.
This is so much more than a miscarriage journal. It's meant to be a place to write, yes, but it's called Remembering You because your baby, no matter how short their precious life was, deserves to be remembered. No one should have to purchase a baby book just to only fill out the first few pages, so I've created a baby book of sorts, a place to document the moments of both joy and heartache, during your pregnancy, loss, & beyond. I recommend looking through the entire journal before you begin. Some things you might want to collect as you begin journaling are a pen, photos, cards, & double-sided tape.
In this blog, I'm going to quickly go through the journal and give a brief description of how to use it. You will see pages for writing, answering prompts, and for photos (the flower pages without lines). If you have limited photos, you can draw, journal, scrapbook, or print other memorable photos for these pages, or simply leave them blank.
From the start of your journal you will see a section dedicated to sharing your life before pregnancy and how you came to the decision to try for a baby, or how your baby was a surprise. Think back to that time leading up to taking a positive pregnancy test and share your thoughts/feelings.
On the 'Telling the World' pages, you can share how you did or were going to annoucence your pregnancy. Perhaps you have an announcement photo or a description of how you had planned to announce.
On the 'Last Moments with You' pages I suggest describing how big your baby was measuring according to an ultrasound or a pregnancy app. How far along were you this week? You could print a photo of the fruit or object used to describe the size of your little one this week. We were 11 weeks the week before our loss so the last update I received from our pregnancy app was that our baby was the size of a bee hummingbird so I printed a photo of one from the app, but you could also search for photos online.
The 'Losing You' page is where this journal begins to document your loss. Fill these pages with whatever details you would like to share about how you found out you were losing your baby or that your baby had passed away.
'Delivery' is a place to share anything you would like about your loss or your baby's delivery whether you were home, in a hospital, or anything else you'd like to share.
A healing step for us was to name our baby. 'Naming You' is a page to share your baby's name, nickname, or term of endearment if you choose to share that. You could also write what their name means or why you chose it.
'Condolences' is a page to share how you recieved support from family and friends through your loss, or perhaps how you didn't. Use these pages to scrapbook cards, notes, messages, or document other ways you felt loved during this time.
'Memorial Service' is a page to share how you did or will say goodbye if you choose to. We invited family to light a candle from wherever they were at the same time as us on an evening a few weeks after our loss. Together my husband and I read aloud letters we wrote to our baby, listened to some songs, and prayed together. You can write your letters on these pages and attach a photo of your evening.
You will find a few pages to write letters to your baby. Do this whenever you want to.
The 'Your Due Date' page is a place to journal about how you did or plan to spend your baby's due date. Some ideas could be to bless another loss mama on this day, light a candle, release an environmentally friendly balloon, or say a prayer. Following this page you will find another page to write your baby a letter on your due date.
The 'More About You' page is a place to share anything else you would like to about your baby. Would they have been the oldest child, the second born, the fourth born? What names did you consider for them, or what nursery theme? What is their birthstone? Do they have siblings?
Will you start a tradition during the holidays to honor your baby? Write about it on the 'Holidays' page. We plan to get our baby a stocking and invite our family and friends to fill it throughout the holiday season with us, then use that money to bless a child the age our baby would have been each year. We will also light at candle in honor of our baby at dinner each holiday.
How about your baby's first birthday? This might also be the day they passed away, or you may consider their birthday their due date. Our baby was delivered at 12 weeks on April 22nd so we will honor his birthday that day each year by making cupcakes. Write about your baby's birthday on the page titled 'Your First Birthday'.
You will find lined pages without prompts to use whenever you'd like to write your feelings down on paper, write to your baby, or share anything else.
I hope this journal is a blessing to you and I'm praying for you as your navigate life after loss. I am right there with you, friend.
xoxo,
Mackenzie